Your baby should start sleeping through the night at about 3 months. But babies are learning and observing all the time, and your baby could soon start to associate sleep time with time that mommy isn’t there. It’s called separation anxiety and it’s a normal part of development for many babies. But it can be especially trying for parents, as babies can be particularly strong-willed, especially about bedtime!

You may be introducing some baby foods at this time, and this can help your baby feel sleepy. Remember to introduce new patterns gently and slowly. If the baby isn’t going to sleep or keeps waking up and crying for you, then she needs to learn to self-comfort, but not all at once. Ease her into the habit of sleeping alone.

Don’t change your rituals at bedtime. You can still start out with a warm bath and feeding. Rocking and snuggling, singing or reading – these are all bonding times for mother and baby. If the baby doesn’t fall asleep right away, try putting her in her crib with the rocker or glider right next to the crib, singing or reading to her. You can stand at the crib and rub or pat her back.

In a week or two, move the chair a short distance away from the crib, so the baby can see you. You can talk or read or sing. If she cries for more than 10 or 15 minutes, then get up and comfort her, but put her back down in the crib and go back to your chair.

In another week or two, move the farther away, towards the door. Even these minor changes could be hard for your baby, but be patient. This is a time when you can fold her laundry and put it away, talking to her, so she’s aware of your presence, but your attention isn’t focused entirely on her. This way she can get used to the idea of separation gradually.

As a new mother, you probably will wonder whether your baby is sleeping enough, or sleeping too much. There are guidelines of what to expect, but of course these can vary from baby to baby. Even if you’ve had children before, each baby will be different.

Newborn babies usually sleep about 16-17 hours in a 24-hour period. Most babies will not sleep through the night until they’re at least 3 months old. There are several reasons why. First of all, their stomachs are very small and they’ll get hungry faster, especially if you’re breastfeeding your baby. Breast milk is much more easily digested than formula, and your baby will need to feed more often, especially in the beginning.

Babies also have shorter sleep cycles than adults do and have shorter dream cycles. In general, though, a newborn baby should sleep about 8 or nine hours during the day and 8 hours or so at night. These won’t be in 8-hour cycles, of course. In the beginning, those sleep times will be very short.

As the baby gets older, up to about 2 years of age, she’ll still be sleeping 13-14 hours, but the amount of daytime sleep will diminish month-by-month. By age 2, your baby should be sleeping through the night with a 2-hour nap during the day. Again, this will vary by child. Your baby might need a slightly longer nap or two short naps. At this age though, try to discourage naps too late in the afternoon, as this can make it harder to get them to sleep a few hours later at bed time.

Once a baby begins to regularly sleep through the night, parents are often dismayed when he/she begins to awaken in the night again. This typically happens at about 6 months of age and is often a normal part of development called separation anxiety, when a baby does not understand that separations are temporary.

Every mother, whether a first-time mom or an experienced one, has to make those decisions about what’s best for her baby. You can start out with books by “experts” and of course friends and relatives always have advice for a new mother and baby.

These are a way to start, but if what you’re doing doesn’t work, then you have to try something new. Try different things at bedtime to see what works for you and your baby. She’s unique and not like any other baby, after all!

You can try different types of foods at night, or the timing of her last feeding. Are her pajamas soft and not scratchy? Be sure to use special detergents made just for baby clothes, especially in the beginning. Can you hang her clothes and bedding outside in the sunshine to dry? Who doesn’t feel all cozy and comfy when going to sleep in bedding that’s been dried outside? Just make sure no critters get into the bedding or clothes.

Do you have a ritual at night? Maybe it starts with a nice bath and then a feeding while holding her close to you. Nothing feels more wonderful than holding a baby right out of the bath when they have that wonderful baby smell. It’s just important to make this a pleasant and relaxing time for both of you, especially when your baby’s very young, in the first months of her life.

If it takes a long time for your baby to wind down, then you might need to start your rituals early in the day. If you’ve been playing with her beforehand, then it might take a little longer to get her to sleep. Again, those rituals of bath, feeding, talking and singing in a quiet, darkened room will soon signal bed time for your baby (and hopefully for you too!)